


Let's Hurt Tonight

by junkbeetle



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, Emotional Sex, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Season/Series 13 Spoilers, Self-Hatred, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 15:56:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15146612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junkbeetle/pseuds/junkbeetle
Summary: Cas and Dean finally get their act together.





	Let's Hurt Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing belongs to me. Just inspired by music and TV. Title and lyrics from One Republic. I just could not get this out of my head when I heard the song. Not betaed.

_When, when we came home_  
_Worn to the bones_  
_I told myself, "this could get rough"_

Sam, Dean, and Cas trudged through the bunker door. _Damn_ , Dean thought, _I feel this a hellavalot more than I used to_. Getting old worried him more than he let on. Not for the vain reasons most of the world dreaded old age. No, the Winchesters had to be concerned about old age because it meant slowing down, losing a step. And losing a step in their family business usually meant losing your life. There was a reason their weren’t too many old hunters.

But tonight had been good. Successful. He and Sam and Cas were home, bruised and bone tired but alive to fight another day. They headed off to their rooms, too tired to manage more than a gruff “night” to one another. Dean paused at the door and let himself watch as Cas continued on to the room they had made up for him. He didn’t have to sleep but, after a hard fight, he had told Dean that he enjoyed the time to relax all the same. He compared it to meditation. Dean’s heart swelled a little knowing the angel found that sort of peace here. Just as he was turning back to his door, he saw Cas glance back. When he caught Dean’s eye, Dean saw something flash over his face that wasn’t exhaustion or relief. It was fear, concern. Cas opened his door and was gone.

Dean wasn’t sure why but, as he readied for bed, he couldn’t get that look out of his mind. Had he missed something on the hunt? Had something bad (or, more bad than normal) happened to Cas? He couldn’t think of anything that stood out. As he lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, his mind swirled. If he was being honest, lying in bed thinking of his best friend wasn’t unusual. Sometime around his last death, Dean had decided to accept that he loved Cas as more than a friend, in a different way than he loved his brother. But while he might have accepted his feelings, he had not come to peace with acting on them. In fact, he had pretty much decided to never do so. He’d made it this far. He had his friend. He’d been comforted by dozens of excuses. He didn’t want to mess up their friendship. A romantic relationship upped the risk of being used against each other. Sex and love are distractions that can cost hunters their lives. They had too many monsters to fight to find time for a relationship. Dean had a terrible track record with anything but one night stands and Cas has essentially no experience with anything that didn’t involved getting immediately murdered or suffering amnesia. They would be adding real world bigotry and prejudice into their already full slate of things they were fighting and watching out for.

Dean knew, deep down, all of these were excuses, ways to avoid what he really feared: rejection, failure. What if Cas didn’t want him? Lowly human, former demon of hell. What if they tried and failed and he lost even the specter of Cas in this life? This was his true fear. This was what had held him back all these years. Well, this an some early denial and self loathing.

Dean analyzed the look on Cas’s face that night. And he remembered the look on his face on another night, as he lay on the floor of a barn, close to death. The night he had told him he loved him. Loved them. It had taken Dean weeks to stop feeling guilty about not saying it back. What if Cas went to his grave not knowing. Hell, he HAD gone to his grave not knowing. Dean had watched him burn and his world had gotten dark. How it could be darker with all that had happened in his life, he didn’t know, but it had. For the first time he had wanted to let it go. Not as a sacrifice for another but because he just had no hope. His hope had died with Cas.

And suddenly, Dean sat up. That could happen again tomorrow. The world was unstable at best and Cas or he could be gone any day. Again. How many times did they have to go to their graves before Dean just took his shot? At least then he would know Cas knew. He knew it would be rough. He knew there was no easy life for them, no pleasant, domestic love story. But, god, it didn’t have to be an unrequited love tragedy.

 _And when, when I was off, which happened a lot_  
_You came to me and said, "that's enough"_

Cas was also lying in his bed. He was tired. Not tired in a human sense but in a deep, profound way. He was tired of fighting. With demons, with his brothers and sisters, with vampires and shapeshifters and werewolves. Castiel had known for a long time that, while he was a warrior of god, he was now so much more. He loved. He saw beauty. He wished for things. And he felt all those things because of Dean. Because he loved Dean. Because Dean was beautiful. Because all he truly wished for was Dean, happy and alive. Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

Cas was also a liar. Because, he had learned, when you really want something, you lie. The truth was that Cas really wanted Dean. Not just to be safe and happy. He wanted those things most of all. But he also selfishly wanted more. It had taken him time to realize what this cacophony of thoughts and emotions meant. He loved Dean. Not as an angel is meant to love a human. Not as a friend or even a brother. He had always felt drawn to Dean, bound to him. But, after he was human, he realized that he was also feeling affection and desire for him. By the time Dean had gotten rid of the Mark, he knew he was in love with him.

He also knew he needed to keep it to himself. Dean not only didn’t get involved with supernatural creatures (knowingly), he didn’t get involved with men (or, men shaped angels) and he didn’t do romance (beyond the one night kind). None of this gave Cas any reason to hope his feelings would ever be returned. So he just stayed by Dean’s side, as a friend and a brother. But, at night, Cas let his mind wonder. He knew now what to do with this body, his body, when he felt desire.

But Cas was not currently indulging in self pleasure. He was trying to calm his mind. He had seen Dean almost die many times. Daily it almost seemed. But it was getting harder. Maybe his time in the Empty was finally taking a toll. But today when Cas had watched Dean barely walk away, he just couldn’t let the fear go. It followed him home and seeped into his bones. He was glad he had told Dean he loved him. Maybe not in the way he wanted to but he would know Dean knew in some way. He just couldn’t shake the sadness of knowing Dean could be gone from his life at so many moments.

Just as he had decided to try and meditate to pull himself out of this ‘funk,’ he door opened and Dean strode in, closing it behind him.

“Ok. Ok. That’s enough.”

 _Oh I know that this love is pain_  
_But we can't cut it from out these veins, no_

“Dean?”

“Cas,” Dean took a hesitant step towards the bed, paused, and then committed, coming to sit at the end facing Cas, who had sat up against the headboard.

Dean cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Cas,” he started over, “I, uh, I need to tell you something. Shit, this is hard.”

“Dean, I’m not sure what I’ve done but if you’d like me to go, I can-”

“What?! No! Damn, Cas. I’m not kickin’ your ass out. Shit, why would you...ok well maybe I deserve that. But no. That was one of the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I only did it to try to save Sammy. I would never...Cas. Fuck, man.”

Dean blew out a breath and finally met Cas’s eyes. He saw the fear receding and he couldn’t wait any longer. He was a man of action who had been holding off for too damn long. He surged forward on the bed and caught Cas’s mouth with his own.

And the world stopped. Perhaps cliche, perhaps pure fear. But it did. There was no sound, no room. Just two men’s lips on each other’s for the first time. Cas was stiff at first. Frozen. But just as Dean began to pull away, Cas came to life beneath him. His hand shot to the back of Dean’s neck and he was kissing back with abandon.

 _So I'll hit the lights and you lock the doors_  
_We ain't leaving this room 'til we bust the mold_

Cas felt like he was flying again. Dean was kissing him. It wasn’t a dream. The warmth of his lips, the slide of his tongue as they opened to each other. A moan rose from both. Dean’s fingers were threaded through his hair and Cas’s clung to his neck for dear life, desperate for this moment to never end. But, since humans need air, they broke apart eventually. Both sets of lips wet, both breathing heavily, they looked at each other.

“Cas, fuck.”

Cas tried to read Dean’s face. Was that regret? Fear? Suddenly, Dean stood up. Cas’s heart dropped. He was leaving. He had screwed up and lost his best friend somehow. Just as he opened his mouth to apologize for whatever had driven Dean away, he saw Dean reach for the lock on the door and turn it. Then he turned to Cas and said, “Turn off that lamp, would ya?”

Cas was so confused, he just sat there and stared at Dean.

“Cas, the light?”

Still confused but prompted into movement, Castiel reached over and flipped the switch. A little light came from a nightlight by the desk that Sam had given him after he confided that dark rooms were unsettling to him after the Empty.

Dean moved back onto the bed.

“I just,” he started, “I can’t have the moose interrupting us and, well, I need to tell you this and the dark helps. Shit. Here goes. Cas, man, I need you. More than that. When you died, this last time, a big part of me died too. And when you came back, it just started to all seem so fucking dumb, man. Trying to hide how I felt, how much you mattered to me. I just, I was laying there thinking about how either or both of us could die tomorrow. And it seems so fucking stupid to be afraid of THIS. But, then, this is pretty huge so…”

“Dean, what are you talking about? What are you afraid of?”

“You, man. I mean, you and me. Us.”

“Why would you be afraid of us?”

“Because! Because, that, what just happened? Us! Kissing! Being, you know, together. Feelings and shit. It’s fucking terrifying.”

“Are you telling me that you, Dean Winchester, who faced down the devil himself on numerous occasions and has survived Hell, are afraid of kissing?” Cas raised an eyebrow.

“Kissing you, hell yeah!” Dean paced.

“Dean, why? Why would you be afraid of something like that?”

“Because I want it so bad it would kill me to fuck it up! To fuck us up Cas!”

 _Don't walk away, don't roll your eyes_  
_They say love is pain, well darling, let's hurt tonight_

 _Oh, I know you're feeling insane_  
_Tell me something that I can explain, oh_

“How could you fuck this up, Dean?”

Dean rolled his eyes and turned away, huffing a laugh.

“How? Jeez, let’s think. I’ve lied to you. Been cruel to you. Tried to kill you. Turned you out onto the street when you had no one else. How haven’t I found ways to fuck this up?”

Dean turned back towards the bed but startled when he found Cas standing right in front of him.

“Don’t do that. Don’t act like this is some silly game. Look at me.”

Dean almost rolled his eyes again but fought the urge and slowly met Cas’s eyes.

“This is important. You cannot drive me away, Dean. I will be here. Hopefully by your side, fighting along with you. But, no matter what, I’ll be here. Yes, you’ve done some awful things to me. I’ve done some awful things to you. But here we are. Still side by side. What in the world could make you think that, after all of that, I would ever leave you? Really leave? I will always come back to you, Dean. So you can’t fuck this up. If you are ready for more, do not fight it because you are afraid. You have fought demons, the devil himself. This is easy.”

They were so close, they could feel each other’s warm breath on their faces. Dean felt the tension leave his body slowly as he looked at Cas. Slowly he tilted forward and their foreheads met.

“Are you sure? You...you sure you want this? Like, this, being together? Because, man, I don’t know...I don’t think I can do this if you aren’t. I mean, I know there is no way to be sure and I know, man, I KNOW there is nothing in my track record that gives you any reason to think I can manage even a normal relationship but…”

“Dean.”

Dean took a breath and met Cas’s eyes when his hand slid up his jaw.

“In the millenia I have existed as an angel and even the time I was alive as a human, I have never been more sure of anything. When I told you long ago that we have a profound bond, that was not idle talk. My grace, your soul. They...match. Whether we were friends, fellow soldiers, or lovers, we were always going to be together, side by side. And it does not matter what your “track record” is. I think we can both agree that our relationship will never be comparable to others. I love you, Dean. And I think you love me. And I think we have both waited long enough. But I will continue to wait if you need more time.”

Dean huffed a laugh and let it propel him forward. His lips met Cas’s and both men melted. That was the only way Dean could describe it. It was like they were marionettes and someone had cut their strings the way the tension left their bodies and they clung to each other. Their heads tilted and their mouths opened slightly. The kiss continued and moved from chaste to intimate. Hands drifted, hesitant at first but then more sure but still reverent. Dean could feel the stubble on Cas’s cheek as he held his face then moved down his neck before threading his fingers through the dark, unruly hair at the back of his head. He thought his mind would be a riot of violent noise, as it had been everytime he thought of this moment. Instead, Dean just felt peace. All the stress, the what ifs, the self doubt, quieted. This was right. It had been all along. He just needed to take that last small step.

 _So you hit the lights and I'll lock the doors_  
_Let's say all of the things that we couldn't before_  
_Won't walk away, won't roll my eyes_  
_They say love is pain, well darling, let's hurt tonight_  
_If this love is pain, then honey let's love tonight_

Cas was anything but peaceful. He was desperate, hungry. He had waited so long, been through so much. They both had. It was beyond difficult to believe that they were finally here. Cas groaned as Dean’s hands tugged at his hair and his mouth became more insistent against Castiel’s. The two moved, stumbling slightly, towards the bed.

“Cas, Cas, wait,” Dean breathed against Cas’s mouth.

Cas opened his eyes and tried to focus, stirred from his reverie. He gave Dean a confused look, eyebrows drawing together.

“It’s just, I just. I need to tell you...Fuck. I love you. Ok. There. I know I don’t deserve you. I mean, of course I don’t. But I am so fucking in love with you. More than...more than I ever knew I could be. And, even if I don’t deserve it, I fucking want it. I want you. Please stay. Stay here. Or wherever. But stay with me.”

Then Cas did something amazing. He threw his head back and laughed. A full laugh, eyes crinkled and mouth wide. Dean stared in awe. As Cas settled and met Dean’s gaze again, his face was still stretched in a gummy smile.

“I fucking love you too Dean. And I will stay with you as long you will have me. Forever. Probably longer.”

“Til death do us part?”

“Knowing us, probably well past that. Repeatedly.”

Both men grinned like fools and Dean pulled Cas down to the bed on top of him. Still smiling against each other’s mouths, Dean’s hands moved to tease the hem of Cas’s shirt, running his fingertips along the strip of warm skin he exposed.

“Is this ok?” Dean breathed, eyes still locked with Cas.

“More than ok, Dean. I think we’ve waited long enough.”

“I just, I wasn’t sure...I’m ok with whatever you are comfortable with…”

Castiel fought the urge to roll his eyes and rolled his hips so Dean could feel just how comfortable he was right there against his thigh.

Dean groaned.

“Damn, Cas. Guess that answers that. And I am so onboard, buddy. But you still need to let me know if you want to stop.”

Instead of telling Dean again that he was not some teenage virgin with a crush, Cas simply pushed himself up and off the bed and began to undress. Never breaking eye contact, he swiftly shed his shirt and pants. Dean watched in awe as he revealed himself. Though this was not his true form, Castiel had long since begun to think of this body as his. And he knew that this was the him that Dean could see so his connection with his human form was all the stronger. It filled him with pride to see Dean react. He could see Dean’s breath, already heavy, become more labored and he could see as his pupils darkened further. When Cas finally shed his briefs, Dean’s eyes widened.

“Fuck Cas! You are packing some heat!”

Castiel looked down as his cock. He knew on a statistical level that Jimmy had been larger than average. It had never meant much to him until he looked back up and saw Dean practically drooling on the bed. He smirked and advanced back to the bed, wrapping a hand around the hard flesh and giving himself a slow stroke as he went. Dean sat up.

“You like what you see, Dean? I’ve thought about this so many times. I’m glad you seem to be pleased.”

“Pleased? Fuck man. Uh...so, um, when you said you’ve thought about this many times, uh, how did, you know, how did it go?”

Castiel cocked his head to the side. If it wasn’t for Dean’s brain’s near meltdown, he would have found the gesture absurd and adorable but right now all he could think was how hot this all was mixed with a little bit of embarrassment. He knew what he wanted. He knew how every fantasy he had ever had about Cas had gone. And now that he saw the fucking monster between Cas’s legs, he was pretty sure he would die if he didn’t get to spread himself for that. But, despite the almost all consuming lust and the relief of finally being here, he also still had a part of his brain that said feeling like that was wrong. It was one thing to like guys. Though he had struggled with that early on, he soon decided it was ridiculous to ascribe who you like to one’s masculinity. Though he rarely ever acted on his attraction to men, he had accepted it was there. What he had struggled more with, what he still struggled with, was that he was a bottom. He knew rationally that the sexual position one preferred had nothing to do with how much of a man they were. Hell, he knew plenty of women who could kick his as no matter how they got their rocks off in bed. But he still felt it was somehow weakness to want this. Because he didn’t just want to bottom for Cas and his huge dick. In his most honest moments, he could admit that he wanted to surrender to Cas. To submit to him. Not in any sort of true BDSM way but in a way where he let himself go, let himself be at peace and vulnerable. He wanted, for once in his life, to let himself be at someone else’s mercy without being forced there.

Dean was pulled out of his thoughts by a weight on the bed. Cas was kneeling next to him now, hand on his shoulder. His smirk had been exchanged for a look of concern.

“Dean? What’s wrong? We don’t have to do anything…”

“No. No, Cas.” Dean felt ridiculous all the sudden. This guy had almost no sexual experience and here he was worried about Dean and his little sexuality crisis. Well, fuck. They’d laid it all out there so far.

“Nothing’s wrong. Cas, I know this might sound ridiculous to you and, really, it is. But there are things I want. Things, um, I want to do with you, that I am struggling with a little. But I don’t want to because I want to be with you and not worry about stupid shit anymore.”

“Dean, I don’t know what it is that you are struggling with but I can tell you that there is nothing you could want, nothing you could ask of me that would make me love you less. Or make me think less of you. If it is the fact that I am male that is troubling you, I suppose I could find a female vessel-”

“No!” Dean nearly shouted. “No, Cas. This is you. And I love this you. I wouldn’t want you any other way. It’s not that. Fuck. Ok. The thing is, I, um. Well, how did you imagine, you know, this? Us? When you thought about us, naked, together. Who was...who… Aw, fuck it. I want you to fuck me. And it freaks me out a little. Because I’ve never done that and it’s probably wrong to want. But I want it so bad. Even before I knew you had a huge fucking cock. God, Cas I want you inside me.”

Dean’s whole face was an alarming shade of red and he was staring at his hands but it was out there.

Cas fought a smile and reached for Dean’s warm face. He lifted his chin and forced him to meet his eyes.

“Dean, I will take such good care of you. However you wish. There is absolutely no shame in what you want. Would you think less of me if I wanted you to penetrate me? Would I be less of a man? An angel? A warrior? That’s absurd. I’m sorry your society has made you feel that way but there will be no shame or embarrassment in this room. You are the bravest man I’ve ever met. You can let go of all that in here. With me. I never judge you or think you weak. I never could. So let go, Dean. Just be here with me. In whatever way you want.”

Dean felt tension leave his body as Cas spoke. His eyes filled but instead of being ashamed, he smiled. He could do this. With Cas. Only with Cas. He felt lighter than he had in years. His grin began small but soon stretched across his face.

He met Cas’s eyes as he said, simply, “Ok.”

And with that, they were kissing again. Hands roamed again. Cas’s body was so warm as Dean ran his hand up his side. Cas’s hands moved up Dean’s biceps and he softly pressed him back onto the mattress. Dean sighed as Cas moved on top of him. Where once that weight might have terrified him, it now felt like comfort, security. Dean let the last bit of shame go and spread his legs. Cas rose and moved between them, never letting his eyes leave Dean’s.

“Shit,” said Dean suddenly. “We need, you know, stuff. I, uh, fuck I guess I’ll run back to my room and -”

Cas held up his hand and stopped Dean’s retreat off the bed. He leaned over and opened the drawer by his bedside and retrieved a bottle of lube.

“Cas. What, uh, why-”

“Dean, you’ve seen me eat food, drive a car, drink a beer. Is it really so shocking that I have also learned the art of self-pleasure? Especially with the object of my desire steps from me for days at a time?” Cas cocked an eyebrow, which looked much sexier and less smitey when done while naked and in a bed.

“Damn. Naughty angel.”

“I’ll be happy to show you what I have learned.”

And with that Cas reached over and ran a finger from the wet slit of Dean’s cock all the way to his balls. Dean yelped and Cas looked entirely too pleased with himself. He leaned back, opened the bottle, and lubed up two fingers. He settled back between Dean’s legs and ran another finger along his cock, this time sliding down to his hole. He slowly circled there with the lubed digit. Dean gasped and writhed, all the while keeping his eyes locked on the angel’s.

Cas continued to circle Dean’s hole, using his other hand to softly rub up and down his thigh. He felt Dean relaxed slightly and pushed the tip of the finger in.

“Have you done this before Dean? Have you touched yourself here? I have. The human body is so fascinating. You are so warm here, so beautiful.”

Dean blushed furiously. Beautiful wasn’t a word he accepted. And especially not in reference to...down there! But the combination of the sincerity in the angel’s face and a reminder to himself that he was safe here, that he was letting go, allowed him to maintain eye contact and simply rise up and kiss Cas sweetly.

Cas continued working him open, always slow and never letting his eyes leave Dean’s face, watching for any sight of discomfort. But Dean was content. He sank further into Cas’s touch. Allowing himself to be taken care of, cared for. It was truly a rare feeling. He wasn’t sure he had ever allowed himself such freedom as an adult and adulthood had come early to the Winchester boys.

Soon Cas was three fingers in and Dean knew he was ready. Suddenly Cas crooked his fingers and heat exploded in Dean’s body, his back arching off the bed.

“Cas!”

Cas smiled. He slowly withdrew his fingers as Dean came back down to the mattress. He reached for the bottle of lube on the comforter but paused.

“Dean, I do not have any ‘protection.’ Perhaps we should go to your room and -”

Dean touched his arm and shook his head.

“I got tested not to long ago and I haven’t been with anyone in months. And you’re an angel so…”

“That is true. I cannot catch or spread disease and, even if I could, I could heal us both instantly.”

Despite his promise to himself, the blush returned to Dean’s face but he pushed through it.

“I, um, I’d like to feel you. I’d...I want you to come inside me. Fuck. I want to feel it.”

Cas didn’t think he could possibly get more turned on that he was, having Dean Winchester stretched out naked in his bed, open and wet for him. But he was wrong. He groaned and reached down to the length between his legs, gripping it to stave off his orgasm.

Dean found his bravado and smirked, “Like that idea, huh?”

Cas rushed forward, capturing his mouth while his spread more lube on his now painful cock.

“You have no idea,” he said as he came up for air.

“Oh I think I have some idea. Now, get in me, Cas.”

For all his fear, his shame, his bursts of bravado, Dean was wholly unprepared to deal with how it felt the moment his angel finally started to slide into him. He had always enjoyed sex. Had even let feelings into the mix once and a while. But he had never thought of it in poetic terms. Insert tab A into slot B. But this was not that. The look on Cas’s face as he breached Dean’s body was something he wouldn’t soon forget. It probably closely matched his own if he had to guess. They both knew this was something important. Both an end and a beginning.

“Dean,” Cas breathed.

“Fuck yes Cas. God, baby you feel good. So goddamn big.”

Cas leaned down and slowly kissed him. He licked into Dean’s mouth as he waited for his body to adjust.

“You feel incredible Dean. Like you were made for me.”

“Maybe I was,” Dean winked. “I’m ready, angel. You can move.”

Cas began to slowly rock his hips. He couldn’t help the moan that escaped then and, judging by Dean’s matching one, he wasn’t the only one.

The two quickly found a rhythm. Surprisingly, despite how long both had waited for the other, it wasn’t hungry or desperate. It was intense. Dean had never had such intense eye contact during sex but it just felt necessary. Like he couldn’t miss a moment of the sharing of this experience. Instead of just focusing on the physical pleasure, there was so much more to share here and they both seemed to know it. Cas shifted his angle slightly and the head of his cock brushed Dean’s prostate and he cried out softly, arching his back beneath the angel.

“Cas.”

“Oh, Dean. You feel so good. So right. I never...I never knew…”

Castiel seemed overcome and Dean understood. He reached up and cupped his face, huffing softly with each of his partner’s thrusts.

“It never feels like this. Not, not normally. This is...I never knew either, Cas.”

Dean knew from the soft smile on the angel’s face that he understood. Dean needed him to know that, though he might have miles more experience between the sheets, this was different, special.

Now that Cas had found the right angle, he continued to brush up against Dean’s prostate. His pace picked up slightly as he felt heat begin to gather in his belly. Dean was beginning to grasp at his back, digging in his fingernails lightly. With each pass of that spot inside him, a fire began to burn its way up his spine. As Cas sped up, the brushes became direct hits and Dean knew he was close. His study of Cas’s face told him he wasn’t far behind. He took one hand from Cas’s back and again cupped his face.

“Come with me, angel. Wanna feel you come inside me, Cas.”

One more thrust right to the right spot and both men locked up. Cas buried himself inside Dean’s body and felt himself release, stuttering small movements until he stilled. Dean came untouched for the first time in his life, coating his stomach before sinking into the pillow behind him, Cas a comforting weight on top of him.

As their breath returned to normal, Cas shifted slightly, pulling out of Dean with a whine and sliding to his side, one leg still nestled between Dean’s and arm stretched across his belly, undeterred by the mess there.

Dean exhaled a deep breath and turned his head to look at Cas. So many things passed between them. Years of hurting each other, leaving each other, doubting each other. Those things were there. They would always be a part of them. But in the calm of this space, this moment, those things only served to strengthen their bond. They are soldiers who have been in so many foxholes together, been through so many battles, some of their own or each others’ making. But they are here now, having finally reached across the battlefield and holding onto each other.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” asks Cas with a sly smile.

“I guess it will do. Might have to try a lot more to really perfect it…”

“If we must…”

They are smiling as their mouths meet again for a lazy kiss. They both jump at a knock on the door.

“Real happy for you two idiots. Even if you are slow as hell on the uptake. By the way, you’re helping me move my room down the hall tomorrow. Night!”

Dean had the pleasure of seeing Cas blush for the first time and he couldn’t stop laughing.


End file.
